So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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