Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
