my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
