She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
