Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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