R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
