I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
