I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
