Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
