i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
