Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
