She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
