She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
