I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
