You really coming over, don't trick.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
