you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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