I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Randomize
