Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
