I cockslap morals
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
