First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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