trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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