His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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