thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
