Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
