Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
