Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
