thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
