Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
