bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize