i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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