You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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