I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize