he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
