The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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