i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
