Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize