walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
