finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
