what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
