So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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