please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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