so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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