Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
