when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
