Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
