sarcasm needs its own font
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The air was thick with penises
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
