theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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