Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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