Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
