I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize