Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
