after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
