my soul wont recognize me after tonight
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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