apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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