I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize