Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
