I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
