I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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