He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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