Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you will always have a special place in my vag
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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