I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
