In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
