Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
