She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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