Dual....:-)
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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