im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
