guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
