wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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