You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
